Keep reading to concentrate on the real issue of healing.

I had time to read this week about how to cope in a crisis. One helpful book quoted insight-fully that focusing on the traumatic cause of disabling injury can prolong mental suffering. Focusing on what I can do to improve the situation keeps me moving forward towards an adapted future. Preoccupation with the genesis of a disability can be at the cost of my own post trauma reformation, growth and development. It is better to concentrate on the healing process, recovery, rehabilitation and facilitate new aspirations and goals.

 

If I had got stuck feeling inadequate or unable to address the new challenges or felt powerless to assist  I would have actually hindered my ability to boost Emily’s psyche. By centering on a proactive approach and positive initiations;  I engaged with Emily, friends and family empowering me to reinstate balance, meaning and purpose in our lives. With emotional balance comes efficiency, effectiveness and durable perseverance.

 

As time elapses from the trauma I concentrate on being mindfully present so the painful memories of Emily’s loss disperse and positive experiences dominate. It is only because I accept past events that I can truly move forward and restore my holistic core self, that facilitates my healing and growth, mental and physical.

I feel strongly that I should continue to read books that support my emotional healing. I aim to constantly build on my adversarial ability and improve my knowledge, experience and confidence. Overcoming trauma within the family is not easy but with; time, resources, insight and coping strategies resilience develops. I have bolstered and enhanced my sense of self, improved my ability to make healthy choices and created a renewed family life with value, meaning and purpose.

I realise too that I can’t be complacent as just as I think life’s running smoothly I can trip up on a metaphorical curb cut and stubble. It is wise to constantly nurture my psychological growth and well-being so I’ll keep reading.

If you don’t relish psychological reading and would rather chill out with a good book to calm and nurture your psyche, my book club reading list over the festive season includes;

• Mother’s Disgrace – Robert Dessaix
• The Paying Guests – Sarah Waters
• Crossing to Safety – Wallace Stegner
• Time Storm – Steve Harrison
• This Picture of You – Sarah Hopkins
• Not that Kind of Girl –  Lena Dunham
• This House of Grief – Helen Garner
• The Berlin Crossing – Kevin Brophy
• A Man Called Ove — Fredrik Backman
• The Twelve Tribes of Hattie  – Ayana Mathes
• The Light Between the Oceans – M.L. Stedman
• The Girl who Saved the King of Sweden – Jonas Jonasson

Non – fiction books maybe supportive, written to engender empathy and hope. Some books are fictional escapism, it doesn’t matter what you prefer as long as you take time to nurture yourself outside of your role and responsibilities.

I take myself around the world with literature, I read widely; to broaden my outlook, to open my mind to the variety and diverseness that exists, to stretch and expand my language and thinking.

Libraries abound so reading is a free and simple pleasure which I advocate we all take time to do more often.

 

 

 

 

Progress this year shows Emily blossom into post trauma independence and I celebrate !

Today is the anniversary of my 1st blog. I thought it fitting to reflect on the year; Emily’s progress, the subtle changes that experience has delivered to Emily and me, the evolution of our separate short and long-term goals.

Emily has progressed enormously as when catastrophe strikes the individual has to psychologically address their physical change, accept their trauma, devise coping strategies and reassess their short and long-term goals. It’s the individuals journey through their own mental and physical injury towards healing.

I had my own journey overcoming parallel issues to Emily but as her carer, her mother. I could assist her in the recovery process but only she could write the agenda, she set the goals, I expedited her aspirations, I eased her hike to health by sharing the administrative burden.

My part in my daughter’s recovery was always transient, I had to subtly withdraw because her life’s course is her own, her ability to have a full, productive, active life is inherently personal and driven solely by Emily. The greatest dis-service to a person with a disability is quashing their independence. I revel in Emily’s growing confidence, her  post trauma personal development, her objective growth. Her emotional and psychological resilience addressing change; change in her appearance, her relationships, her social life and her altered ambitions.

I have distanced myself gradually because we are not living a shared life. I have my own inclinations which I have to pursuit. I was delighted to spend twelve days in Barcelona recently, leaving Emily alone. I left for Europe secure in the knowledge that Emily was competent, assertive and informed in all aspects of her need. The dynamics of our relationship have always centered on nurturing Emily towards physical, emotional and social independence – my time away consolidated Emily’s adaptation, independence and well-being.

I celebrate this past year as Emily has managed her stressful transition from rehabilitation to home, from patient to student, from reliant to independence. She has shown mature insight as she set achievable goals,  she has mastered new skills within safe environments, she manages care delivery and student demands gently which engenders strong working relationships.

I have gained enormously witnessing Emily’s graceful, educated yet assertive approach to life so it is a delight to report on her ability, her strength of character, she shows good humor and love everyday – no ounce of dissatisfaction, anger or belligerence.

Traumatic injury is heartbreaking but with time, care and resources individuals and families can recover. The recent breakthrough in cell transplantation and the success of epidural stimulation treatments engenders great hope for the future. Although research and development fosters hope we must take care to live now.  That is my message one year on; that Emily is living, she’s back at University, she’s on the bus, she’s back up at the bar ordering a cocktail, she’s travelled in Australia and Asia and she’s independent.

 

One year on I can proudly report that Emily teaches me everyday caring!

Twelve months on Beastie is the singular unchanged being. She remains active, hungry and completely devoted !